Are You Getting Married For The Wrong Reason?
Getting married is usually amazing, but maybe you should ask yourself a question, “Why do you want to get married?” What’s your reason? Have you thought about that?
Well, here are 3 Horrible reasons for getting married.
Sometimes we get lonely, we feel alone and we long for company. Nevertheless, this isn’t reason enough to get married.
Getting married because of loneliness is like drinking acid because you’re thirsty, it’s a horrible decision and would only lead to regret.
If you’re feeling lonely, you don’t need a wedding, you need friends. Please step out and make good friends and maybe later, you could take it further.
Another horrible reason for getting married is:
Because It’s The Norm
This is like saying “everyone is voting for this political party so I’ll vote for them too even though I don’t know their candidate.” Doesn’t sound reasonable right?
That being said, the effect of social pressure is quite understandable. Everyone around you is getting married, all of your friends are married, your younger cousins are married, your classmates are married. Now you feel left out and want to get married.
Ok, but what happens when they get divorced, will you get divorced too?
What happens when they say they don’t want kids, will you also refuse to have kids? You see where I’m going with this right?
You can do many things because it’s the norm, but marriage isn’t one of them.
Getting married is a conscious effort. It’s a decision that could change the trajectory of your life. Choose carefully.
One other horrible decision for getting married is:
Pregnancy isn’t a license to get married, neither is it a marriage hook. Pregnancy is just that, pregnancy.
Perhaps in some cultures, that’s how it’s done, you have to get pregnant before getting married, but I’m not talking about those cultures. I’m talking about having casual sex with or even dating someone and accidentally getting pregnant – That doesn’t mean you both have to get married.
If you get married because of a pregnancy and not because you actually want to spend the rest of your life with this person, then it goes without saying that you’ll most likely be unhappy for a very long time. You might even end up resenting the child and that’s a recipe for a dysfunctional home.
Now that we’ve got the bad stuff out of the way, here’s a very good reason to get married:
Take a look at how the Oxford dictionary defines a friend, “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.”
A relationship built on mutual affection, not on sex, is one that would last and here’s why – when you’re old, sex becomes trivial, you want someone you can discuss with, someone you can laugh with. You want someone that appreciates you for who you are, that’s true friendship and that’s the basis for love.
Aim for friendship first before anything else.
By Funmilayo Odede